Lately—or let’s be real, always—I’ve lived like I’m in a race. I’ve often joked, “I have to run faster than my demons,” but the truth is, it hasn’t always felt like a joke. There’s always something to do, somewhere to be, someone to check in on, cheer up, or chase down. The chaos is constant. And while my demons aren’t as scary as they once were, I still find myself running.
Y’all know I love a good hike or paddle trip. I say, “I’d rather go slower and enjoy the view.” Why rush through the woods and miss the wildflowers? Why blow past a hidden spring just to say I made good time? I want to experience the trail—not just survive it.
And yet, somehow… I haven’t given myself the same grace off the trail.
This past week, a friend casually dropped a truth bomb: “Life isn’t a race. It’s meant to be experienced.” I politely nodded and thanked her, but inside? Explosion! I already knew this. I’ve just forgotten how to live like it.
That night, I went to bed with a quiet kind of sadness. Not the dramatic kind—more like a gentle ache for all the moments I’ve missed because I was too busy rushing to the next thing. I told Jeffery about it, and this is what he said:
“Look, you can either keep trying to outrun your demons or you can slow down and let them catch up—then hit ‘em with therapy, boundaries, and a well-timed nap. Either way, you’re not getting a trophy for being the most frazzled.”
Rude. But not wrong.
So here’s where I am right now:
I’m trying to take the scenic route on purpose.
I’m trying to stop rushing to “get it all done” and start noticing what’s worth slowing down for.
Like this moment. This breath.
Like candles lit while I clean the kitchen, even if the kitchen is only clean for 12 minutes.
Like choosing to care for myself without guilt.
Like letting the rhythm be slower, but still steady.
I know I’ve got the skills (and the support) to face whatever demon dares to show up. I don’t have to run. I can walk. I can pause. I can breathe.
And maybe I’ll finally learn how to experience the life I’ve been racing through.
Check back next week, either I’ll be peacefully sipping tea on the porch or frantically trying to organize my entire life at 11:47 p.m. There is no in-between.
Hi! I'm Sonja and Welcome to Conversations With Jeffery 